Husband-Free Dudes

No, a Husband-Free dude is not a gay guy who doesn't want to get hitched -- it's any man, gay or straight, single or not, who can clearly see that marriage is just a contract, and one that neither proves the value of a relationship nor improves its functioning. Why not "Wife-Free" for men who aren't thrilled by the idea of marriage? It just doesn't pack the same punch, I guess; it doesn't seem fresh or new to suggest that men don't really want wives. To the contrary, it seems self-evident.

But I just have to give a big Husband-Free HURRAY! to my friend Jeff, a Husband-Free dude if there ever was one, who suggested taking the title of this blog one step further -- his suggestion was actually "If You Think You Need a Husband, You Need Your Head Examined" which is way funnier than what's up there, but I didn't want to scare off any potential converts.

Yes, Virginia, There IS a Santa Claus!

...except in June, we call it "Sex and the City" -- FINALLY!

I will not ruin the plot for those of you not hardy or determined enough to brave the opening weekend, but be warned, the film was so chock-full of Husband-Free moments, sentiments, statements, etc., I cannot predict how long I can hold back!

But in the meantime, enjoy the below excerpts from the Washington Post, online:

But if romance -- finding it, losing it, getting it back -- is "Sex and the City's" major preoccupation, the movie also honors women who prefer independence to compulsive couple-dom...It's about women in their 40s who might have been raised on happily-ever-afters but who have long since stopped believing in fairy tales...These are, after all, women who were once told that their chances of getting married were worse than getting killed by a terrorist. They survived that punitive prediction, and 9/11, too...The "Sex and the City" women endure their share of heartbreak, but they embrace their mistakes as emblems of a life well-lived. If one or two of them know how to marry a millionaire, they've also been around even the best block enough to know the importance of financial independence. Most important, the operative question is no longer the passive "What will become of me?" but its dynamic corollary: Who am I choosing to become?"

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Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover

Sorry for the radio silence this past week -- I was in my hometown visiting my folks, and mom's computer is so old and slow, I just didn't have the patience (Aquarians, such as myself, are notoriously impatient).

Anyway, I'm back and bursting with news -- hardly know where to start, so I'll just start here. While home, I had the unusual experience of having lunch with one of my high school classmates (hi, Laura!) whom I have not seen since graduation, 25 years ago! It turns out that her work life has consisted primarily of employment in the matchmaking field! For seven years she taught an adult ed course called "How to Meet Your Perfect Spouse" and then went on to work for a matchmaking agency. So, when I told her that I moonlight as the Anti-Matchmaker, promoting Husband-Freedom, I didn't expect the level of interest and enthusiasm with which she responded. Basically, she observed that many of the people she met who were seeking a spouse were looking for another person to complete them, while it was their own independent incompleteness that stood in the way of partnering up (did I get that right, Laura?). Anyway, there was a definite meeting of the minds, which I thought was very exciting -- even a matchmaker can support being Husband-Free!!!

While sitting in the airport waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for my flight to board, I listened to some podcasts on my iPod, including one from a group of chatty Southern gal pals calling themselves "The Divas" I was taken in by their title while selecting my podcasts, thinking they might be Husband-Free-ish, and a nice addition to the resources and references on this blog -- wow, was I wrong! In one of the selections, they explored the importance of BEING SUBMISSIVE (!!!) to their husbands' decisions -- in fairness to them, they did express "having issues" with this submissiveness, and stressed that they did get their own point of view across before they submitted -- and who knows? Maybe they are handsomely rewarded (jewelry, vacations, remodeled kitchens, central air conditioning) for their submissiveness and it is a trade-off that makes sense to them. BUT -- to my mind, this description of married life is arguing from the negative in favor of being (what else?)Husband-Free!