Friday, May 23, 2008

Celebrate This

Alumnae newsletters -- such joy! Especially the ones from high school -- as if it weren't awful enough the first time through, I still get periodically reminded of the four years I spent surviving in the Big House! (Catholic, all-girls -- need I say more?) And then they have the audacity to ask for cash...

The real highlight of all this, though -- better even than the fact that my name is preceded by "Miss" instead of "Ms." on the address label -- is the "Celebrations" page!!

Getting hitched and the births that result therefrom are under "Celebrations" -- separate from the rest of the "News" or "Notes" sections. Yes, getting married is worthy of a special, specific heading along with photos of a nicely-manicured woman's hand bearing a HUGE rock and a plastic bride-and-groom cake topper. Kool & the Gang pulse brightly in the background, "Celebrate good times, COME ON!!!"

So, if you got your PhD in biochemistry from a Ivy-League institution, where you are now on the faculty, that's only "news," but if you landed a man (never mind that he very well may be a paroled felon with no job prospects and bad hygiene) -- bust out the champagne! Or if you've worked hard, saved money and bought your own house -- sorry, that's novel, but we're not going to celebrate your REAL financial security as well as the fact that you accomplished it through your own efforts -- we will, however, get all excited now that your primary purpose as a woman on this planet has been fulfilled -- WIFERY! WIFEDOM! WIFEHOOD! We can all rest easy and feel happy because -- hallelujah! -- there is one less slatternly spinster out there.

Now, what I'd like to know is, why isn't there a special page for divorces?

1 comment:

Clever Elsie said...

Thanks for stopping by at my blog, Singletude!

I think this may be the first time I've seen a blog dedicated not just to chronicling the singular existence or even advocating for singles but to leading a revolution against marriage. Now that's novel!

Although I don't take issue with the marital relationship in and of itself, I also am dismayed whenever I see marriage touted as the crowning achievement of a woman's life. It isn't right that women (and men) are made to feel as though their personal accomplishments are forever secondary to the holy grail of lifelong canoodling with someone else, and it's especially hypocritical when coming from an institute of higher learning.

Awhile ago, I wrote a post called Commit to Yourself suggesting that, instead of a wedding, singles should throw their own commitment ceremonies with attendant pomp and circumstance to celebrate the goals they've achieved while everyone else was busy getting married and having babies. I already told my friends that I may one day hold such a party, and they'll be expected to dress up and come bearing gifts, just like I did for their long string of engagement parties, bridal showers, weddings, baby showers... ;)

Anyway, you have a great blog here. I noticed you don't have a blogroll, but if you add one, I'd like to exchange links if you're interested.