Sunday, June 01, 2008

Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover

Sorry for the radio silence this past week -- I was in my hometown visiting my folks, and mom's computer is so old and slow, I just didn't have the patience (Aquarians, such as myself, are notoriously impatient).

Anyway, I'm back and bursting with news -- hardly know where to start, so I'll just start here. While home, I had the unusual experience of having lunch with one of my high school classmates (hi, Laura!) whom I have not seen since graduation, 25 years ago! It turns out that her work life has consisted primarily of employment in the matchmaking field! For seven years she taught an adult ed course called "How to Meet Your Perfect Spouse" and then went on to work for a matchmaking agency. So, when I told her that I moonlight as the Anti-Matchmaker, promoting Husband-Freedom, I didn't expect the level of interest and enthusiasm with which she responded. Basically, she observed that many of the people she met who were seeking a spouse were looking for another person to complete them, while it was their own independent incompleteness that stood in the way of partnering up (did I get that right, Laura?). Anyway, there was a definite meeting of the minds, which I thought was very exciting -- even a matchmaker can support being Husband-Free!!!

While sitting in the airport waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for my flight to board, I listened to some podcasts on my iPod, including one from a group of chatty Southern gal pals calling themselves "The Divas" I was taken in by their title while selecting my podcasts, thinking they might be Husband-Free-ish, and a nice addition to the resources and references on this blog -- wow, was I wrong! In one of the selections, they explored the importance of BEING SUBMISSIVE (!!!) to their husbands' decisions -- in fairness to them, they did express "having issues" with this submissiveness, and stressed that they did get their own point of view across before they submitted -- and who knows? Maybe they are handsomely rewarded (jewelry, vacations, remodeled kitchens, central air conditioning) for their submissiveness and it is a trade-off that makes sense to them. BUT -- to my mind, this description of married life is arguing from the negative in favor of being (what else?)Husband-Free!


Diva Sharon said...

Dear Helen,

You are definitely a diva! You are interested in Delighting, Inspiring, Validating and Affirming other women. Thanks for listening to I just wanted to emphasize that we all had some concerns about the word submissive but we do attempt to "work the system". Compromise is key to any relationship especially marriage. Thanks for listening and if you want to even talk to us on our podcast about being husbandless let us know..

Anonymous said...

Get a grip Diva Sharon. Your last sentence was just plain immature.

Hi I'm Ann! said...

Diva Sharon -

I agreed with your comments until the very end. "Husbandless"? Lighten up will you? Being married is not better than being single just different. I am happily married but let's be honest here. Marriage is not always rosy all of the time. I think you should step up and absolutely let Helen talk on your podcast about what it means to "be husbandless" - less stress...less headaches that is!

Kelly R. said...

Gee "Diva" Sharon - are you threatened by the fact that a woman can actually be happy and have a fulfulling life without a husband? Do you talk about the high rate of divorce on your podcast? Well its nice to see that you must be part of the 50% that actually stay married.